Anxiety

Want to know the worst part about having depression and anxiety is? It's having your entire mind and body being pulled into a million directions, not knowing which way to go. It's having this uncontrollable sadness but worrying you're sad over nothing. It's knowing you have a bucket list of things to do but not having the desire to do a single one. It's the desire to not want to live sprinkled with the need to survive. It's getting all the sleep in the world but being in a fog. It's all the possible outcomes played in your head even though not a single one will ever happen. It's always wondering if you did everything okay yet having no care about it at the same time. It's a never ending back and forth pull of caring too much and not caring at all. It's two demons fighting for space that is already too cluttered for another. It's all about not letting those demons take hold.

It's painful.

It's dreadful.

It's tear jerking.

It's not easy.

It doesn't make me weak.

It can only make me stronger.

Just don't give up on me.

-AJ